I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
