we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
