I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
