I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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