How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize