Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I got chris browned last night
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
