Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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