its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
