what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Four minutes until I can fart!
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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