Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
