Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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