Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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