States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
