Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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