So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
