yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
