How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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