oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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