were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
