Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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