Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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