Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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