She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Damn victory sex feels great
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
