you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
