so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
