Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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