I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
