You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
