He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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