we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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