chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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