Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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