Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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