Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My hand turned me down
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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