Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
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