hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
