Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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