Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
