Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
