you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
3 2 1 whiskey
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
