And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
