don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My feet surprised me
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize