just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just pee around me
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
