he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
