I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
