so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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