You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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