is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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