do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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