I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I did not marry a roomba.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
