Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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