She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
