ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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