why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
