I accidentally had phone sex last night
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize