i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
