watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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