I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
