All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
