Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
soo... how was my night?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
