he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
