Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
