Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
