Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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