is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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