Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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