"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize