My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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