If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
it was like eating out sand paper
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
