Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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