You work out of a Hotel?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
