Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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