do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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