ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
