ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
