It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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