Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize