you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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