She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just puked most of my soul out..
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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