I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I need moral support for this bender
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
