I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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